I've been working on a short story that might end up being a long one. The working title right now is "Faberge Monstrosities," but it might be changed when I, you know, write more than one chapter of the book. The first chapter is for you to read and (hopefully) comment. Let me know what you think.
Chapter 1- Alliterate Associates
Once upon a time, a time not so long ago, lived a young girl and her stuffed octopus. The girl was rather plain, with thin, brown hair, bandy legs and noticeably large brown eyes. The girl and her octopus lived in a city a size Goldilocks would have taken a liking to. She lived with her mother whom she called Mother, and a father whom she called Father. Neither adult is pertinent to this story.
On this particular day, her hair was plastered to her face with shaving cream she acquired from her father's medicine cabinet. She found the look quite comely upon further reflection through self-reflection, by way of a looking glass. She was sure that Lord Sticky-fingers was of the same opinion, although she did not press him on the subject. The girl had started calling him Lord Sticky-fingers to gain much needed credibility among her colleauges, although in secret she still called him by his original name: Pinky. He is in fact pink, so the name seemed entirely appropriate at the time.
Eleanor slips on her favorite pink dress and squeezes into her tap shoes that are two years old and consequently two sizes too small. She contemplates cutting off one of her toes, but then how would she count to twenty? No, no, today was not the day for snipping appendages. Science day was at the end of the month.
Eleanor grabs a handful of candy corn and heads for the door.
[It's always Halloween at Eleanor's house. Curiouser and curiouser.]
She informs her mother that she is going out and to have any callers wait for her in the parlor. She pauses and then adds, "Tell them to go away unless they have brought a disposable cootie shot dispenser with them." Now was not the time to get sick.
Eleanor slings her leather satchel over her shoulder (which Mother had tailored to be just the right size for her little Nora) and heads purposefully dow the street. She changes her pace quite frequently so as to change the music her feet make.
[Musical
Feet.]
Where is Eleanor going so tenaciously on this particular Saturday? Why, Ned's house of course. Ned and Eleanor played together every Saturday, and most days for that matter. Eleanor and Ned were best friends. Ned and Nora.
They played such classic childhood games as "Christmas Tree Hunting," and "Rocks: A Menace to Society." Although the first game is fairly self-explanatory, "Rocks" may not have been played in your neighborhood.
In "Rocks: A Menace to Society," Eleanor and Ned would collect all the rocks they could find. They usually had to go to the park, as neither Nora nor Nedly had backyards. Once they found a good amount of rocks of various sizes, one of them would play the role of Rock Catcher. A rock catcher is similar to a dog catcher. The rocks are similar to dogs. The Rock Catcher goes rock hunting to round up the mangy minerals and put them in the pound. The other child, the rock hider, now plays the role of Excited Child, looking for the perfect pet rock to take home.
The Rock Catcher is the highly coveted role.
After a rousing game of Christmas Tree Hunting, both children were in particularly high spirits. As they headed back to Ned's house for a cup of hot chocolate with TWO puffy marshmallows, the children noticed that something wasn't quite right. Eleanor spotted it first; or rather, she sensed it. Nora looked up at the sky and noticed the time of day; it was dusk. Strange things always seemed to happen to Eleanor at dusk.
Dusk was a magical in between time, that wasn't quite day and wasn't quite night. Reality began to fade with the setting sun and the fantastical world became clearer. Eleanor always felt that magic didn't seem quite so absurd and childish at twilight.
She noticed her neighbor Mrs. Cabbage walking down the street pushing her cart full of groceries and her pet rabbit, Peaches, hopping sideways and soundlessly behind her. Mrs. Cabbage always pushed a cart full of groceries, so that wasn't the problem. It was something else. Eleanor yanked Ned by the arm and dragged him over to Mrs. Cabbage to see what was so different.
"Salutations, Mrs. Cabbage," greeted Eleanor as politely and loudly as she could manage. (Mrs. Cabbage never seemed to hear Eleanor when she addressed her, so Eleanor felt it best to yell and wave her arms.)
Mrs. Cabbage looked at her with a smile and said "...."
Nothing. It was then when Eleanor noticed that Mrs. Cabbage's mouth was sewn together. Not in a crude way, but delightfully stitched like a needlepoint pillow. Mrs. Cabbage didn't seem worried about not being able to talk. She looked at Eleanor and Ned after saying...nothing...and continued to push her cart. Peaches followed suit.
As Mrs. Cabbage hobbled away, Eleanor noticed a brightly colored Easter Egg dangling from a chain around Mrs. Cabbage's neck. She knew that Mrs. Cabbage didn't wear any jewelry. What was this mysterious egg?
"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark," noted Ned as he recorded their findings in his pocket-sized moleskin.
Something rotten indeed.
